Your essential guide to not getting murdered in a quaint English village, where danger lurks around each cobblestoned corner and every bite of scone or sip of tea may be your last. If you insist on visiting, do yourself a favour and bring along a copy of this guide book. It may just keep you alive. Brought to life with dozens of Edward Gorey-esque drawings and peppered with allusions to classic crime fiction, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to stay alive.

Repeat after us: don't look in the pond, keep away from the maze and never trust the vicar. Good luck. You're going to need it. Maureen Johnson is an American author, this book is primarily aimed at a US audience.